MY STYLIST SUIT #03

Eight thoughts to buy stuff that actually makes sense.

Link a la versión en español

Have you ever found yourself looking at a dress, a jacket, jumper, etc. thinking, literally thinking to yourself: - Oh, yes, I’m going to buy it, I don’t know yet how I’ll wear it, but I’m sure I’ll find a way to make this gorgeous piece make sense into my daily life and wardrobe -. To later never find the right occasion, outfit, or mood to wear it? Now let me ask you something else, does this situation apply to a single piece in your wardrobe or there’s more?

We all subconsciously believe this: buying will make us feel like the gods/goddesses that we are, it will validate our weekly suffering at meaningless jobs, dealing with shitty bosses. We believe that it will compensate for a terrible Monday or will simply help take our minds off things. We buy for our lives, as a pastime or to make up for the enormous amounts of crap we have to surmount on a daily basis. But we all know, even if we look to the other side, that it is simply not true. Nevertheless, we do it. 

Yesterday was Black Friday, a festivity that makes no sense except that it is a date to buy or sell stuff at highly discounted prices. It has also become the date in which a part of us considers buying something (whether we need it or not) at a great price while another might be lecturing ourselves and whoever wants to listen on how much responsibility each one of us has on the dumping of rubbish engulfing our planet. Maybe, that’s just me projecting. 

This week I’ve been working like a dog, which meant lots of shopping while dealing with big crowds. I’m not being dramatic, any stylist worth their salt knows very well that the worst thing that can happen when being booked for a commercial job that involves real shopping (as in going to shops not PRs) is that it may fall on the days around Christmas, Black Friday, Valentine’s/Mother’s/Father’s Day, Sale Season or the Weekend. Why? Because lots of people rush to the shops while we try to buy humongous amounts of clothes. I was never someone who loved shopping, nor have I ever particularly enjoyed buying sprees with friends, I do love going to second-hand shops and flea markets, but the joy comes from finding a jewel within the rubble, not from the shopping aspect of it. For me, once every many months it’s more than enough. I often get bored and frustrated when shopping, my very patient boyfriend who deals with me spending hours at supermarkets, knows I hate it and get cranky when I have to go boyfriend-stuff shopping with him.  

I wanted to talk about what I see in people when I am shopping for work;

I see them because although I am concentrated on what I’m doing (I’m on a mission but not emotionally invested), I also get to observe the people around me. I love the teenagers affirming their individuality and chatting with their friends about what they love or hate, I see the families shopping as a pastime, I see the couples trying to help each other buy the stuff that’s best for them, I see the parents with small children buying within their turmoil, the girlfriends gossiping and giving each other advice. But to be truly honest, among such a wealth of human interaction, I see a lot of loneliness and a lot of angst and anxiety. I often wonder how is it that shopping has become so central to our lives and paramount to our relationships. 

I certainly didn’t want to do the typical Black Friday post in which I give a lecture on how empty and meaningless our buying habits usually are. I thought it might be more useful and compassionate to share the set of rules I try to use when I buy for myself (for work I buy as if there was no tomorrow because that’s the job). But when I do it for me, I try to be more conscious and stay aware of what it means to purchase something that may end up in a pile on a distant desert or beach where I’m fortunate enough not to live. I am as bad as anyone, I buy on impulse, often overlooking the real reasoning behind my purchase and usually ignoring the fact that I just want to feel better and I am conditioned to believe that if I buy that particular something, I’ll manage. 

So, here are my little helpers for the absent-minded shop wanderings where I start finding things I suddenly need to buy:

Rule no.1: I am responsible for the things I buy. What will I do with them once I own them?

Rule no. 2: Returns are not always a solution. Is my future return justified or should I have never bought the thing in the first place?

Rule no. 3: Let me examine my shopping habits. Why am I really buying this? How do I reward myself? Do I go shopping when I feel down? Do I browse online shops while in the bus/metro/doctor’s waiting area?

Rule no. 4: Do I really want/need the stuff I’m about to buy? Leave it for tomorrow, if still thinking about it, go and buy it.

Rule no. 5: How I buy. Do I ever consider the quality of the garment or do I just look at the design? A beautiful design with bad textiles or materials will end up in a landfill faster.

Rule no. 6: Thinking beyond the initial impulse. When, how and why am I purchasing this piece? Do I plan to use it for more than just that one special occasion?

Rule no. 7: Checking for twins. Do I maybe own something similar already? If I buy this, what will happen to that similar piece I already have?

Rule no. 8: Who made my clothes (oldie but goldie)? Do I support and condone the way this garment has been made? Have I bothered to find out? Will I care for the pieces nonetheless? 

Let’s look inside. If each one of us makes better decisions, a lot can change. 

Happy Sunday, misfits! Use my list and let me know if it works for you. Remember, if you enjoy reading this, please keep in mind that tonight after dinner, I left my friends having drinks and fun to come and write this little thing, so likes, shares and comments would be a godsend. 

Lots of love,

Patty